


Miles to Go (Before I Sleep)

by Gabby (Kirahsoka)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Rebels, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Canon Universe, Gen, Missing Scene, Prompt Fic, Semi-Edited, Sleep
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-02-24 16:40:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21641083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kirahsoka/pseuds/Gabby
Summary: A collection of flash fics for various Star Wars characters and/or relationships based on the following prompt:Your characters aren't getting any sleep. Write about why, and how they respond.Each chapter is labeled by character(s), so you can peruse based on interest.
Comments: 168
Kudos: 61





	1. Ahsoka & Sabine

**Author's Note:**

> The woods are lovely, dark and deep,  
> But I have promises to keep,  
> And miles to go before I sleep,  
> And miles to go before I sleep.  
> \--Robert Frost, Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahsoka & Sabine find the past travels with them as they search for Ezra.

Ahsoka hissed a curse usually reserved for only the direst of circumstances. She clenched the lumpy mound masquerading as a pillow and flipped onto her stomach. Burrowing her face into the sheet, she wrapped the fluffy barrier around her head.

For a single, exquisite moment, it was pure bliss. Until, her montrals apparently felt it necessary to adapt to their newly compressed environment. Oscillating whirs seeped through the makeshift barricade, leaving echoing thrums with each cycle. Below it all, a drone of nonsensical buzzing began stripping her nerves into shreds. Then, a high frequency chirp screeched at such a pitch it made her teeth vibrate.

“Argh! That’s it!” Ahsoka flew off her bed and into the corridor. She listened for a moment and then scowled. Storming down to the cockpit, she burst through the door. “What in the blazes is that noise?!”

Sabine jumped violently with a tiny squeal. “Karabast, Ahsoka! You just took a year off my life.” She massaged her chest. “I thought you went to bed.”

“I _did._ I’ve been rolling around in it for the last hour as a cacophony from the depths of damnation eroded my sanity.”

The young woman blinked a few times. “Huh?”

Scanning the cockpit, she located the origination point. Snatching the small, square contraption off the co-pilot's seat, Ahsoka examined the multitude of dials. “Where’s the blasted power switch?! Grr, forget it!” She ripped the battery pack from its wiring and the diabolical assault finally ceased. The ringing in her montrals faded into the soothing hum of a ship traversing hyperspace. Closing her eyes in pristine happiness, she breathed, “Beautiful.”

There was a cough. “Oh. Erm… sorry. Didn’t realize your hearing was _that_ sensitive. It’s barely audible to me. I actually, uh, turned it up.”

Her eyes flipped wide. “Turned it up?!” Taking a deep breath, she tried to calm her frayed nerves. “What is this torture device, anyway?”

Sabine took the metal box from her hands and set it on the other side of her pilot’s chair. “Just an experiment. I’ll call it a night.” Rotating back to Ahsoka, she flashed a quick grin. “I really am sorry. Go get some rest.”

Ahsoka lifted eyebrows. “An experiment.”

“Yeah, me messing around while I was bored between jumps. It’s not even worth explaining.”

She assessed the casual face that didn’t quite ring true. “What’s going on?”

There was a momentary shadow in the russet-shaded eyes, before they filled with a more familiar irreverent snark. “What’s going on is you so need sleep. I mean you just went mortal combat on an inanimate object. I’d prefer a non-crazed Togruta relieve me in a few hours, if you don’t mind. Back to bed. I promise no more torture.”

Crossing her arms, Ahsoka stared at the girl in an expectant silence.

Sabine's gaze wandered around the cockpit. Her lips flattened into a thin line and then she twisted back to the control panel. “Goodnight.”

Ahsoka noted the tensed muscles and rigid posture. Softening her tone, she prodded, “Sabine, please tell me what’s wrong.”

“I already explained,” she snapped. “If you don’t believe me, I can’t help that.”

Grabbing the seat, Ahsoka spun it around and crouched in front of her. “I don’t believe it, because it’s not true. If you don’t want to talk about something, say so. Don’t lie to me about it.”

The young woman huffed. “And would you leave me alone, if I did?”

She shrugged. “Depends on the situation. In this case, no. The fact that you’re going above and beyond to hide the issue suggests it’s important.”

Sabine looked down at her hands and whispered, “It’s not. I just don’t want you to know.”

“I see.” Ahsoka frowned. “You know I care about you very much, right? I understand I’ve only been back in your life for a few months, but we had a good relationship once. Can’t we get there again?”

She winced. “It’s not that. You’re—I don’t want you to think I’m…”

“I promise it’ll be ok. Please, trust me.”

Her shoulders hunched, and Sabine mumbled, “It’s an infrasonic generator. Certain frequency combinations supposedly inhibit specific neurotransmitters. I built it to try and—it’s meant to help lessen the intensity of… nightmares.”

She gripped both sides of the distraught face and angled it up to hers. “You’ve been having nightmares bad enough for you to research and construct a machine that might prevent them?”

Her head jerked confirmation, chin trembling. “About everything. The purge of Mandalore, losing Kanan, my family calling me for help I couldn’t give, random battles, the Empire using my arc pulse, even things that haven’t happened. Last week, I dreamed we found Ezra. But he had gone insane and ended up k-killing you. It was horrible.”

Ahsoka’s heart ached at the torment in her eyes. “Why didn’t you want me to know any of this?”

“Because it’s so weak! Look at me! I’m an exhausted mess that can’t even control her own mind.” Sabine scrunched up in the chair, pulling knees to her chest. “Useless.” She barked a hollow laugh. “I’m now trying crackpot remedies. Pathetic, huh?” Her voice fractured into a broken whisper. “I don’t know what else to do, Ahsoka. I’m not strong enough to handle them. They haunt me long after I wake up. The last few days I’ve only pretended to go to bed. Falling asleep means another nightmare and I’m—”

“Scared,” she finished softly. “I understand more than you think. I fought an entire war before I was eighteen. I spent nearly two decades working in shadows, while evil hunted me. Someone I loved once framed me for murder. The closest thing I ever had to a family and a home was destroyed. I spent years stranded in the darkness of a Sith temple. My master…” Ahsoka shivered and shoved Anakin’s warped face back into the recesses of her wounded soul. “Believe me, I have nightmares. Bad ones. Why do you think I have trouble sleeping?”

Her mouth parted. “Oh. I never thought you would—” Sabine’s head lowered. “I guess I want you to respect me. You’re so controlled and wise and… well, perfect.”

She snorted. “Force above, delusional girl. We’re definitely going to talk more.” Lifting her chin, Ahsoka continued, “I have always respected you, Sabine. Having problems you are struggling with doesn’t change that. You are _not_ weak. The nightmares wouldn’t exist, if you hadn’t survived more than anyone should or can endure. They’re only proof of how strong you actually are.”

Sabine gazed at her for a long moment, before whispering, “Thanks.”

Brushing fingers across her cheek, Ahsoka smiled softly. “It’ll take time, but how about we work on our mutual issue together?”

A slice of hope brightened the clouded eyes. “I’d like that.”

“Me too,” she murmured. “First things first, though. It’s hard to do anything, if you’re in danger of passing out. So, let’s try our own crazy remedy for tonight, shall we? How about you curl up in this chair and get some rest? I’ll stay here and monitor. Then, we’ll switch. That way neither of us has to face our dreams alone.”

Her closed expression morphed into a sheepish grin. “That sounds nice.”

Ahsoka released a content sigh. “Yes, it does.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anytime I get stuck, run dry on ideas, am teasing out a character's headspace, or just want to practice, I write one of these. As a result, I have a multitude of sleep-deprived people! This habit occasionally spawns more extensive fics. ("Complicated" is a good example of a story that started with a sleepless Sabine creeping in a moonlit window to visit the also sleepless person inside.) 
> 
> Since I am ages away from posting a new story and have limited time to write these days, I thought I'd share a few of the decent ones. There are probably more I can add to this collection, assuming there is any interest. I need to sort through to pick out the postable stuff. (Some are appallingly bad and a few are being used elsewhere for in-progress fics.)
> 
> If you have character suggestions, let me know in the comments. I'll put it on my list for when I write another one. No promises, of course, but I'll see what I can do!


	2. Seventh Sister & Vader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Seventh Sister makes a vow.

Burning. She was burning. Her cracked ribs bit flaming flesh. Fevered blood poured from engorged veins in her nose. Asphyxiated muscles seared white-hot brands of agony.

Lasering vicious eyes on her enemy, she called forth every shred of rage. But his rage was greater still. Her body convulsed in its invisible prison. How long had it been? She wanted to rest, to sleep, to end.

It was not to be. The blank mask stared back at her. A clenched fist maintained its lethal grasp in apparent indifference, while hate radiated from his implacable presence.

The others watched with malicious hope. They were waiting for her to fail, to die, to surrender. Well, they would see only bitter disappointment. The life must be ripped from her body. She would never give it up willingly. Yes. There would be no rest.

Renewed strength razed through her essence at the vow. Erupting in a primal shriek, she stretched fury to its limits and struck.

The suffocating hold loosened. Barely. But it was a hit. A chink. A success.

“Ah,” he rasped, “good.” His black fist released its death grip.

She plummeted to the ground and sucked air into lungs deprived of it for far too long. But there was no time to wallow, to mend, to rest. Leaping up, she charged her enemy.

A gloved hand swept empty space and flung her against a wall. “Enough.”

Trying not to show the pain, she dragged herself back to the end of a line that was filled with now venomous hopefuls. She could feel their spite, their hate, their malevolence. Her soul reveled in it. She controlled their fear. Her strength exposed their weakness.

He addressed the Grand Inquisitor, “This one will serve us well.”

The Pau’an bowed. “As you judge, Master.” A sneering smile stretched his thin lips as he turned to her. “You have been found worthy. Welcome to the Inquisitorious, Seventh Sister.”

She dropped to one knee. “Thank you, Masters. I pledge everything I am to your service.”

A wheezing, mechanical breath sounded. “We are done.”

Only a heartbeat passed, before screams swirled around her still prostrate form. Those who’d been found wanting were given their just rewards. Once the sizzling lightsabers quieted, her new master rumbled, “Rise, Seventh Sister.”

Standing to her feet, she briefly took in the glorious carnage. Only she remained. Power, control, triumph. It shook her core in pulsing ecstasy.

His modulated voice vibrated the air with cold dominance. “Rest not in your mission. These failures received the mercy of death. Your failure shall be worse than death.”

Intoxicating adrenaline spiked her veins. Soon, very soon, she would be the one instilling terror. Bending a respectful head, she replied, “As it should be, Master.”

Lord Vader pivoted, cape flying behind his potent presence as he exited the chamber.

It was done. Victory was hers. Dominance would follow. Her destiny awaited. And the Seventh Sister vowed to never rest again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the Inquisitorius. We are intense.


	3. Ahsoka & Anakin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahsoka is woken up by an unexpected visitor.

Ahsoka shot straight up, slamming her head into the railing above. “Arghowwow!”

Her vision warbled as discordant ringing reverberated through her montrals. “Ugh. Why did I give Sabine the quarters with the single, exactly?” Placing hands on her throbbing head, she massaged the self-inflicted stupidity. “Tano, you are an idiot.”

“Now, I wouldn’t say that,” a bemused and terrifyingly familiar voice commented.

Fear iced through her veins. The strange feeling that had awakened her snapped into clarity. Spinning off the bed, she called her sabers from the nightstand. They bathed the area in a white light that matched the figure in front of her. “Not possible.”

A ghostly Anakin Skywalker raised eyebrows. “Come on, Snips. Did I teach you nothing? Anything’s possible.”

Scanning around, she could find no obvious device or explanation for what she was seeing. Her dizziness intensified. “Concussion. I’ve given myself hallucinations.”

The image of her master snorted. “I suppose that’s also possible, though a bit improbable. Unless, that upper bunk railing is made of beskar.”

“And I suppose a dead man appearing in front of me is more possible?” Her lip curled. “No, not just dead. Vader is dead. As I recall, Anakin Skywalker was _destroyed._ ”

He winced and looked away. “That was mostly true for a long time. Too long. Also, it’s why I’m here.” Dragging pained eyes back to hers, the man continued, “I’m sorry, Ahsoka. I can’t make it better or even tell you I didn’t mean to do it. We can’t go back. Still, I wanted you to know your effort wasn’t in vain. The bit of Anakin Skywalker that remained… remembered.”

She stiffened and bit out, “My master is gone. The vile creature he became was supposedly killed on the death star along with his evil lord. Who or what are you?”

There was a sigh as he ran a hand through ethereal yet still messy hair. “Ok. I guess I expected too much. I’ll let you process and try again sometime.” Intense blue eyes locked on hers. “For now, know Anakin Skywalker was never truly destroyed. Your sacrifice kept a spark of life intact. That spark ignited when his son was facing death at the hands of the Emperor. Everything I was has joined the Force, yes. It doesn’t mean I’m gone.”

Stretching out with her feelings, only impossible truth returned. Yet, it couldn’t be. Her mind began spinning in wild circles, leading nowhere.

Flashing the engaging grin she remembered well, he gave her a jaunty salute. “See ya around, Snips. Your master couldn’t be prouder of you.” Then, the ghost faded into nothingness.

She remained rooted in place, muscles twitching. “Not… possible.” Sluggish disbelief clogged thickening arteries. Her stomach clenched with a gasping breath. Sabers floating down to her sides, she mumbled, “It can’t be.”

Ahsoka’s heart punched into her ribs. Once, twice, three times. On the fourth, she dropped to the floor and gazed at the now empty space. A sliver of desperate light cut through the dark clouds always hovering over her soul. “Can it?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always wanted to see a ghostly visit to Ahsoka in canon somehow. Hasn't happened, so I gave them a start here, ha.


	4. Luminara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luminara embarks on a path to find rest.

Luminara wandered through the Room of a Thousand Fountains, aimless steps reflecting her equally directionless mind. Rubbing hands that had become far too thin over her sagging face, she sighed. Sleep hadn’t come easily for months. Now, it wasn’t coming at all. Her meditative walk through the beauties of nature wasn’t producing its customary calming effect, either.

The woman halted as a choice presented itself. She contemplated the three walkways. The expansive chamber had many. And she had explored a large number in her time at the Temple. However, the divergent stones in front of her were unfamiliar.

Eyes following the first path, she saw warm brightness. Lush, shining fauna lined the intricately designed stonework. The symmetrical landscape lay in pleasing perfection. White radiance filtered in from beyond her vision, like ethereal sunbeams that left nothing in shadow. This way was pure light.

Her attention switched to the middle path. The minimalist stepping stones were less well-defined yet had a bluish, luminescent quality that calmed. A quiet waterfall splashed in harmonious tones over smooth rocks, before rolling into a pristine pond. Magnificent trees dotted both sides of the shaded trail, guiding the walker deeper into solace.

Flicking her eyes to the final path, she flinched. The worn, indistinct walkway was brittle and fragmented, grayish weeds growing between its erratic cracks. Gnarled vines hung from an ominous tree canopy. Dead plants spilled onto the blackened ground. There was no color, no light, no comfort here. Everything lay in a dimly lit aura of darkness.

A frigid current of wind chilled the air, causing an involuntary shiver. “Master, please…” a faint plea wafted across the sudden gust.

Luminara stiffened. “Barriss? Is that you?”

“I’m lost. I can’t find a way out.” Her apprentice’s voice bled desperation.

Scanning the entire area, she could find no one. Luminara spun around in an anxious circle. “Where are you?”

“In the dark, so dark. Help me. I can’t get out,” she cried in broken sobs. “I can’t get out.”

Turning slowly, she fixed on the third path where every sense was pointing. “Barriss, no.”

“Master? Are you still there? Please, don’t leave me all alone.” Her heartwrenching call was receding further into the blackness. “Please…”

Luminara stopped thinking and began racing down the ruined path. The light faded behind her as she ran. Yet, she never seemed to reach her destination. “Barriss, I’m coming! Where are you?”

“I’m sorry, Master. It’s… too late.” There was a choked scream and her apprentice fell silent.

“No!” Luminara’s speed reached an unreal velocity. Vines whipped her face in painful lashes. But she kept going. Then, everything vanished into pitch black nothingness. “No, no, no. Barriss, I’m here. I won’t leave you. Barriss! Please, answer me!”

One of her feet clipped an unknown object, and Luminara crashed into jagged stepping stones. Sucking a throbbing breath and bracing her side, she attempted to rise and continue her quest. It was not to be. Thick vines shot up from the ground and slithered around her body. They pinned her in place with impossible strength. “W-what?”

Suddenly, she realized the pernicious vines were submerging into the gaps of the broken walkway. And they were taking her with them. “No.”

Her lungs began to explode from a lack of air. Convulsing muscles spasmed and then withered. Her bones compressed under the intense pressure. Truth scattered across her heart like smoldering embers ejected from a dying inferno. There was nothing more she could do. It was over. Luminara reached out, searching for her lost apprentice one final time. “Oh, Barriss. I couldn’t save you. I’m so sorry. I should have been there.”

Red streaks spackled the darkness with dripping, crimson hues. Barriss’ tormented face emerged from the eerie light and stared down in aching despair. “And I’m sorry I couldn’t save you, Master. Now, we are all…” Her voice fractured into a shattering whisper. “... lost.”

Struggling against her bonds, Luminara used her last shred of existence to stretch a shaking hand toward Barriss. But it was no use. Her heart crushed in anguished regret as the vines pulled her into suffocating darkness.

Everything ripped apart, and her mind surfaced in cold reality. Fixing beyond the tiny, glass pane of her death chamber, she gazed at the Grand Inquisitor in sorrowful acceptance.

Finally letting go, Luminara Unduli bowed her head and slept. Forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be one of the most painfully depressing things I've ever written. Um, you're welcome?


	5. Barriss & Ahsoka

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geonosian brain worms are rough on your sleep patterns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For AzureLightningEmeraldCloud

Barriss shivered as she gazed at the stark white ceiling above her bed. The antiseptic sterility of medcenters usually brought a strange comfort. Something about the controlled environment, dedicated to the sole purpose of healing, calmed and focused her. Not this time.

Squeezing the blanket between her fingers, Barriss tried once more to subdue the disquieting thoughts. But the language she no longer understood continued to hiss and click. Her efforts only seemed to make it grow louder. A soft whimper escaped her lips. “Stop. Please.”

The Geonosian hive had apparently left a parting reminder of its violation. The healers had said no trace of the worm’s presence could be found. There were no physical or chemical aftereffects lingering in her body. Barriss could only conclude the still terrifying sounds in her mind were a memory. They just felt so… real.

Something brushed her shoulder. She yelped, stomach careening into her throat.

“It’s ok! Just me! Are you alright? I’m really sorry.”

Barriss ordered her flinching muscles into submission and peered up at Ahsoka. The night lighting of their shared recovery room wasn’t dim enough to obscure her friend’s anxious expression. “Not your fault. I thought you were sleeping, and it startled me is all. What do you need?”

The girl chewed on the inside of her cheek. “Um, I just wanted to check on you.”

“Oh. Well, thanks. I’m fine.”

Ahsoka tucked hands behind her elbows. “Are you sure? It kinda sounded like you weren’t.”

Barriss stiffened. “It’s not important. I’ll be alright. You should get some rest.”

The girl assessed her and then flashed a small grin. “I’d love to, if I could fall asleep.”

Releasing a long exhale, she admitted, “Me too.”

Ahsoka sat on the edge of her bed. “Anything in particular keeping you awake?”

She bit her lip. “Everything that happened on the ship. The memories aren’t… pleasant.”

“Yeah, same. Probably not as bad as yours. Still, I almost k-killed you and it’s—I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry for not killing me?” Barriss remarked dryly.

She threw a playful glare back. “You understand what I mean.” Her face pinched, and Ahsoka scrubbed a hand over it. “I knew what could happen if something went wrong. You even begged me, but I… couldn’t.”

“Well, I’m grateful you found another way.” She swallowed. “I actually do understand. I didn’t ask only for the greater good. I would have rather died than be a prisoner in my own mind. But, in the same way you couldn’t, neither could I. It would’ve made me kill you. I don't think I could have handled—I wanted you to kill me instead, so that didn’t happen.”

Ahsoka’s mouth parted and then curved into a diffident smile. “Glad I’m not alone in my moral quandary, then.”

“Definitely not.” She gazed into the shining blue eyes that hours ago had been filled with conflict as they stared her down across a lightsaber. The memory of her trapped mind desperately screaming at the invader to stop flared, causing more shivers. Pasting a weak smile, she added, “All worked out though, right?”

Her eyebrows drew together. Ahsoka picked up Barriss’ hand and frowned. “You’re like ice.” Jumping up, the girl vanished. She returned with a blanket and tucked it around her.

Every kind of warmth coursed through Barriss. It was a feeling she was quickly starting to associate with Ahsoka. “Thanks.”

There was a perky grin. “We’ve totally filled our quota of being cold. I’m calling an end to it.”

She snorted. “No arguments there.” Realization snapped. “Wait. Did you just give me your blanket?”

Ahsoka rolled her shoulders. “I’ll be fine. You need it more than me.”

Barriss shook her head. “Let’s share.”

The girl blinked and didn’t immediately reply.

Cringing at the impulsive suggestion, she backtracked. “I mean if you’d rather not, I understand. Not typical recovery protocol. We could always comm for an attendant to bring us another blanket or—” Halting her rambling, she began removing the gifted cover to return it. “Sorry, stupid idea.”

“No.” Ahsoka stopped her movements and spread the blanket back into place. “Sharing sounds nice.” Pulling up the edge, she slid next to Barriss and hummed. “Hey, this is toasty.”

Turning onto her side, she snuggled closer. “Mmm, very. I’m brilliant.”

Her friend laughed. “Way better than waiting for rescue on a sub-zero ship. While trying to keep us from becoming icicles, I had you wrapped up so tightly that in another five minutes we’d have been frozen that way for eternity.”

Barriss giggled. “Too bad I don’t remember that part instead.”

Ahsoka was silent for a few moments and then shifted in the bed. Sliding arms around her, she pulled Barriss against a warm chest. “There. Now, you can use it to chase the other memories away.”

Her tensed body slowly relaxed as the barely suppressed terror faded. For the first time since Geonosis, Barriss felt… safe. Melting into the comforting embrace, she whispered, “Thanks.” Soon, the hissing clicks receded, until they were no longer recognizable. As her eyelids drooped, she let out a contented sigh. “Goodnight, Ahsoka.”

The reassuring arms tightened with a soft, “Goodnight, Barriss.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm 91.736% positive the general idea of these two bonding after their brain worm experience came from a scene I read on AO3 in the distant past. I have a fuzzy memory in my head of A & B sleeping in a hospital bed and that's about it. I might be imagining this, because I can't for the life of me find this fic to credit it for inspiration. So, if anyone knows what I'm talking about, please say in the comments!


	6. Rex & Fives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rex refuses to sleep, so Fives takes matters into his own hands.

Rex ground knuckles into his burning eyes. He flexed numb fingers, before tugging the uncomfortable cold weather gloves back into place. Sliding his helmet on and flipping down the macrobinocular attachment, he continued scanning the deceptively quiet surroundings.

“Come on,” Rex muttered. “I know you’re out there. What are you waiting for?”

A crunch of a boot made him stiffen, body ramping up for action. Then, he cursed his own paranoia as the familiarity of the sound penetrated his weary brain. Without halting surveillance, he snapped, “What is it?”

Fives stood beside him. “I’m here to relieve you. Get some sleep.”

“Since when do you give the orders around here?”

The arc trooper grinned. “Since my captain has gone over the edge.”

Pivoting, Rex removed his helmet to deliver a steely glare. “Your captain is currently ensuring the enemy doesn’t attack his sleeping men.”

Fives shrugged. “And it’s appreciated. However, at this point, you couldn’t see droidekas rolling under your feet. You’ve been going non-stop for three days and have now been watching an empty space for nearly ten hours. I’m well-rested and a better spotter than you. Me taking over is the smart command decision. Not recognizing that reality only confirms your own insanity.”

Rex opened his mouth to bark a reprimand but then realized he had no counter. Flipping back to his vigil, he grunted. “I’m fine.”

“No,” Fives said flatly, “you’re not.”

“You’re getting dangerously close to insubordination, mister,” he growled.

There was a deep exhale. Then, a hand gripped his shoulder. “Rex, please. I know you’re upset about losing so many in the surprise attack. But you’re not going to bring them back by running yourself into the ground. That only puts the men you have left in danger.”

Rex’s stomach twisted. His overtaxed muscles popped, and he fell to one knee. Digging his fists into the frozen ground, he blew erratic, white puffs through the icy air.

Fives crouched beside him. “It’s not your fault. Whether you believe that or not doesn’t matter, though. There’s only one fact that’s important now. You’re our _captain._ We need you in top form to lead us out of this mess. And, you will.”

Chest burning with frigid breaths, he gazed at the man for a few moments. Struggling to a standing position, Rex tucked his helmet under his arm and nodded. “The watch is yours, trooper.”

Snapping to attention, he saluted. “Yes, Captain. I won’t let you down. See you on the other side.”

Rex began dragging his dying body toward the tantalizing warmth of their temporary camp. Halting a few feet away, he hesitated and then called back, “Thanks, Fives.”

A grinning voice floated across the cutting wind. “Only taking after my captain and fighting smart. Now, go to bed before I carry you there, _sir._ ”

He snorted and obeyed orders. As Rex collapsed on his bedroll, he smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Fives. How we miss you... 😢


	7. Barriss & ...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barriss makes her last cup of tea.

Barriss reverently dipped the sepia-tinted bag into her cracked mug. She flattened her palm over the lip to preserve any heat that could be squeezed from the lukewarm tap water. On a few prior occasions, she’d used the Force to steep the tea properly. However, one of those attempts had ended in flaming disaster. Even assuming she had the strength to try, Barriss couldn’t risk it this time.

When embarking on this interminable journey, a book once gifted from her master, the mug Ahsoka had always used during their late-night talks, and a small carton of tea were the only approved luxuries she’d allowed herself. Now, the cherished book split at its seams, fractures webbed across Ahsoka’s mug, and a sole bag of tea remained.

Barriss had been saving the hallowed bag for longer than memory lasted, never succumbing to the temptation of its siren song. It had a sacred purpose, a desperate, impossible hope that had sustained her through the nothingness. An event that, if reached, would mean she could finally rest.

Weeks of starvation now made that dream irrelevant. Feeble muscles worked for every movement, sleep was an elusive torment, and her grinding stomach had settled into defeated numbness. Her body was shutting down, sounding the death knell of hope. Whatever had happened in the world beyond her hidden prison had caused it to forget about Barriss Offee. And so, she’d made her long withheld last rights.

After she could feel only cold air beneath her palm, Barriss checked the results. She smiled. It would do. Pulling out an electrical panel shaving, leftover from a failed escape attempt, she utilized it as a makeshift stirrer and then tossed it away.

Gripping her precious cargo, she dragged herself onto the bed and braced against the thin headboard. Barriss stroked the battered book lying beside her, before interlocking sluggish fingers around her mug. She inhaled the soothing aroma of ginger spice and cinnamon. It was beautiful.

Gazing at a dingy wall that had forever lost its sleek whiteness, she sipped her halcyon of solace. Even the less than ideal temperature couldn’t dispel her contentment as liquid gold washed through barren yet tingling insides. She savored the moment, clinging to the exquisite feeling.

Slumping back with a soft sigh, she waited, taking an occasional sip. Barriss was good at waiting. It was all she could do. Year after miserable year had passed in this limbo of nothingness. Oh, how she’d been waiting. Her heart twitched in an ever so slight flutter. Maybe, just maybe, the wait was over. She would at last be allowed to rest.

Her eyelids began to droop. She let them shutter as reality blurred into approaching dissolution.

From somewhere outside of her bubble, a strained whine jarred her calm drift. Barriss didn’t bother to consider what caused it. She remained waiting for what was to come. But nothing changed. Her lungs still pumped air. The tea continued flowing through her veins. She was afraid to open her eyes and see the truth. That elusive rest was once more an empty dream inside of her nightmare.

A choked cough rang out. “Barriss?”

Her muscles seized. Eyes shooting open, she fixed on the delusion standing in her prison cell. Barriss’ fingers spasmed around her mug. It shattered, splattering tea in all directions.

The hallucination flinched but then edged forward and crouched in front of the bed. “Barriss, it’s alright. I’m not going to hurt you. Do you remember who I am?”

Staring unblinkingly at the mirage, she croaked, “A-ah… soka?”

The woman released a long exhale and then smiled. “Yes, it’s me.” She ran a concerned gaze over Barriss. “What have they done to you?” Her jaw clenched. “Listen, I know this is probably difficult to process quickly, but I need you to try, ok? I came to get you.”

“W-what?”

Ahsoka grimaced and sat next to her. Taking a bloodied hand, she gently picked ceramic shards out of it. “Will you let me take you away from here?” Pleading blue eyes locked on hers. “Please, Barriss. Trust me.”

Her paralyzed mind snapped and ricocheted into motion. The dream she never thought to have was here. Her tea’s purpose hadn’t gone unfulfilled. The Force had actually granted her last request. Barriss Offee’s unending wait was… over. Crumpling against Ahsoka, she cried, “I always trusted you. I’m so sorry. More than sorry. My life belongs to you. _I_ belong to you. But please, Ahsoka, don’t go without finishing it. Don’t leave me in nothingness.”

There was a sharp breath. “Ok. I’m considering that a yes.” Her voice softened. “And I forgave you a long time ago.”

Barriss’ wasted body began convulsing with dry sobs and unshackled anguish.

“Ssh, it’s alright.” Ahsoka’s fingers stroked her brittle hair, leaving glowing streaks of warmth behind them. “None of it matters now. Let go.”

The reassuring presence soothed her tormented soul, enveloping it in a quiet pool of peace. Barriss whispered, “I’m ready. Take me away, Ahsoka.”

Strong arms picked her up. Cradling Barriss against her chest, she murmured, “Don’t be afraid. This isn’t the end of nothing. It’s the beginning of everything.”

Barriss gazed into the caring, passionate eyes that would no longer haunt her empty existence. “I love you.”

Ahsoka smiled and pressed tender lips to her forehead. “Time to rest, Barriss Offee.”

Her heart sang in pure happiness. Long denied rest finally came as Ahsoka carried her into a tunnel of light. Everything was waiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Interpret this one as you will.


	8. Padmé & Anakin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected pregnancy in a secret marriage... I'm sure everyone is sleeping just fine.  
> 

Brushing a strand of hair off her husband’s forehead, Padmé sighed. Spending her night watching Anakin sleep was absurd.

Sliding out of bed, she wandered into the kitchen and fixed a cup of hot nerf’s milk. Her father swore it was the best cure for insomnia. Her mother dryly countered that resolving whatever issue was keeping you awake might be more effective. Mashing fingers into her temples, Padmé addressed the empty air, “What if the problem is unresolvable, Mom?”

A tart response came unbidden into her brain. _‘Every problem has a solution, Padmé. You simply don’t like any of them.’_

She grimaced. “Well-played, Mom.”

Padmé carried her last-ditch sleep aid onto the balcony. A humid breeze fluttered her nightdress as she gazed into the Coruscant skyline. Running scenarios through a mind that wouldn’t rest, the woman took an absent sip. “Ergoww—hawt!” burst from singed lips as the milk she’d apparently heated to boiling levels seared the inside of her mouth.

Slamming her cup down on the railing, she blew cooling breaths. Once the fire became a stinging throb, she muttered thickly, “Excellent work, Senator. Incinerating the most critical area of your body improves your situation considerably.”

“Hmm,” a bemused voice commented. “we’ll have to agree to disagree on which parts of your body are the most critical.”

She twisted around with a laugh. Then, immediately winced as pain spiked across the roof of her mouth.

Anakin strode over and ordered, “Let me see.”

Padmé almost huffed at the command, but then decided not to risk any sound and opened her mouth.

Her husband peered inside and slapped a hand to his chest in melodramatic horror. “Whelp, it’s bad. You can’t even burn yourself without overachieving.” He grinned. “Be right back.” Anakin vanished in a blur of speed and then reappeared in less than a minute. He brandished a mouthwash from her medical supplies. “This says it's specially formulated to treat accidental milk scalding. Supposedly starts healing in less than thirty seconds. And, as you know, product labels never lie.”

Rolling her eyes, Padmé took the offered serving and swished it around.

Anakin watched her, grin tugging at his lips. “Do you count in your head to ensure equal swishes on each side of your mouth? Or, does that specific level of overachievement come automatically?”

She squinted at him. Thrusting her chin up, Padmé did her best regal strut to the kitchen sink and spit out the liquid. She exhaled in happy relief as the pain receded and her tongue tingled pleasantly.

Anakin leaned over her shoulder and poked a playful finger at her cheek. “Yep, good thing your husband acted quickly and decisively to end your suffering. Also, you owe me an apology on your clear disdain for my belief in product label veracity.”

Padmé snorted. “So needy, Skywalker. Can’t you just bring your wife some medicine without adoring validation?”

He chuckled and slid arms around her waist. “What fun is that? I take it you are actually feeling better?”

Leaning back into his muscled chest, she smiled. “I always feel better when you’re holding me.”

Lips rubbed along the nape of her neck. “Mmm, I should do it more often then.”

The words caused her sleepless thoughts to intrude on the moment. Unable to stop herself, Padmé blurted, “Anakin, what are we going to do?”

His body stiffened. “Do?”

Twisting around, she pinned him with a hard gaze. “You can’t keep pretending we don’t have a baby on the way. We need to talk about how to manage things. What happens when I’m working long hours at the Senate? Are you planning on penciling us in between a battle to the death and your Jedi meditation sessions? Will our child think the nanny is its father?”

He pulled away, expression darkening. “What am I supposed to do about it?! Are you suggesting I leave the Order and be a stay at home dad while there’s a war on? Take the baby with me on missions? Magically make our lives different?”

Her voice edged into desperation. “Anakin, _please._ I can’t do this alone. I'm seriously considering giving up my career and relocating to Naboo. At least, I’ll have my family for support there. What then? Will you even see your child or me?”

Anakin jerked and balled his hands into fists. “Fine! If you’ve already decided to abandon me, why are we talking about this? What do you want from me?!”

Heat rushed into her face. “I want you to at least act like you care about it! I want you to help me figure things out! Except you’re never around for that, are you? You’re too busy fighting a war that shouldn’t be happening. You show up whenever suits you to lay in my bed and then vanish, while I stare at the ceiling night after night. I need h-help—” A sob she couldn’t suppress cut into her words, and Padmé flipped away.

There was a low growl from behind her and feet began stomping off. Then, they halted, and a heavy silence clouded the air. She crushed shaking palms into the counter and tried to regain some semblance of control, but it only brought more tears. Her weary heart apparently refused to be quashed any longer.

A squeak from a boot pivoting on the kitchen floor sounded. His hand gripped her elbow and tugged her around to a distressed face. “It’s not—I do care.” Squeezing his eyes shut, Anakin rushed out, “I’m worried about all of it. That I won’t be a good father. That something will happen to you or our child while I’m not here. That I can’t fulfill my responsibilities as a Jedi and take care of my family. That I’m going to… fail.” His eyes opened. Raw vulnerability that reminded her of the boy she once knew haunted the intense blue. “I’m scared, Padmé, ok?”

She blinked and laid a hand on his cheek. “Why didn’t you say this before? Everytime I bring it up, you change the subject, run away, or pretend not to hear me.” An edge of frustration crept back into her tone. “Once, you even started running the empty food processor, while I was talking!”

He cringed. “It was too much. I didn’t want to ruin the little time we get together by dwelling on things that already keep me up every other night.” His head dropped as he whispered, “I can only sleep when I’m with you.”

Sucking in a breath, Padmé pressed herself against his chest. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to lose my temper. It’s just killing me, Ani. I’m so afraid of messing this up. I want our child to be happy and loved by both of its parents. I want us to be… a family.”

“Me too,” Anakin replied hoarsely. He took a deep breath and lifted her face. His expression filled with steely resolve. “I swear to you, Padmé, I’ll do whatever it takes to make that happen. What do you need me to do?”

Her heart swelled. “Talk to me. Please? Even if we can’t solve everything, it helps to know how you’re feeling. That I’m not alone and we’re doing this together.”

He swallowed and then gave a firm nod. “Let’s talk.”

She threw arms around Anakin’s neck and brushed lips over his. “Thank you. Don’t worry. I promise we’ll leave plenty of time for activities that don’t involve life-altering decisions.”

A roguish grin crept up. “Hmm, we’ll have to agree to disagree on whether sleeping with you is life-altering.”

Smiling happily, Padmé savored the brief reprieve from their uncertain future and pulled him in for another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How about we pretend this is an AU, where everything works out. Feel better?


	9. Luke & Ahsoka

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke searches for answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Dragonheart37 for inspiration on this one.

Luke plodded into the darkened dwelling and flicked fingers toward the light panel. “Ugh. Too bright.”

Lowering the manufactured glare to half-level, he ripped the pack off his shoulders and tossed it on a nearby table. Apparently, that was finally too much for its aging legs as they crashed to the floor. He stared blankly at the mess and then shrugged. After three weeks of aimless searching, little sleep, and no progress, Luke couldn’t bring himself to care.

Trudging through the hut to a small refresher adjoining the kitchen pantry, he slapped cold water on his face. Returning to Ben’s former residence every few days to rest and resupply only seemed to intensify his weariness.

This was the beginning, where one life ended and another dawned. Being on Tatooine again, the same place his younger self had desperately wanted to escape, made the contrast uncomfortably stark. The eager, naive boy craving adventure had been all but consumed by the sober, purpose-ridden Jedi carrying the hope of so many. Four short years and yet a lifetime away from where he started.

Looking into the mirror, he gazed at his shadowed face. Black marks under bloodshot eyes, cracked lips, splotchy burns, and a sagging, unshaven jaw stared back at him. Luke groaned. “Oh, what am I doing here?”

He threw the question into the ether of existence, knowing there would be no answer. Which explained why Luke’s heart hit his throat, when a wry response floated back. “Looking for me, perhaps?”

Spinning around and reaching for his saber, he froze. A figure cloaked in shimmering white stood in the pantry area, looking not at him but into the kitchen. The Force presence radiating off the intruder he somehow hadn’t sensed arriving made his breath hitch. It was profoundly powerful and focused, while simultaneously sedate and harmonious. The combination produced an aura unlike any he’d encountered.

“Strange how things change yet remain the same.” His visitor moved to the stove and ran orange-tinted fingertips across it. “There’s a new cooktop, but it's cracked in the exact spot the old one was.”

Shaking off his stupefaction, Luke stepped into the kitchen, hand resting on his still undrawn lightsaber. “Who are you?”

The wide, cloaked head cocked. “You’ve been searching for me long enough to look like death, Luke Skywalker, but don’t know who I am?”

His mouth parted and then he commented dryly, “Well, that’s what happens when you have absolutely no idea what you’re trying to find.”

The woman—Luke decided the feminine voice warranted the designation until proven otherwise—hummed. “Interesting. And you hope to find it on Tatooine? The last Skywalker I knew couldn’t be paid to return to his childhood home.”

A sudden thrill bubbled into a blurted, “You knew my father?”

“Yes,” was the soft reply, “the man he once was.” She straightened and turned to face him. “If it brings any comfort, until I sensed you, I had no idea of my purpose in coming here. I’m actually on Tatooine to obtain… supplies for a long-term mission I’ll soon be embarking upon. This was an unexpected detour.” There was a light snort. “The Force can be quite insistent at times.”

Luke grunted. “Tell me about it.” He asked hopefully, “Are you a Jedi?”

Something flared in her presence. “No, I am not.” Pausing, she added, “However, I do have a history with the Jedi. If you tell me the circumstances that brought you to this place, perhaps we can confirm whether I am indeed your elusive prize.”

Sighing, he ran a hand through his sand-dusted hair. “Ok, I’ve been searching for Jedi artifacts that were lost or confiscated during Palpatine’s reign. My last stop was Lothal, where I discovered an ancient emblem marking what I believe may have been an important Jedi site.”

She nodded. “What sent you from the Lothal Temple to Obi-Wan’s hut?”

Luke’s chest expanded further at the implied knowledge her response contained. Perhaps, the guidance he had craved was now standing in front of him. Though, even that paled in comparison to discovering someone who knew his father. Tamping down the buzzing excitement, he answered, “While exploring there, the Jedi Master who trained me appeared and—”

“Yoda or Obi-Wan?” she interrupted.

His eyes bulged. “How do you know so much about me?”

There was wistful sigh. “It’s a simple matter of reality. I’ve been… away for a long time, so it’s possible something could have changed. However, when I left, only two Jedi Masters remained.”

“Oh.” The man hesitated, before saying, “I’m not sure if you know, but they’ve both passed on.”

Trembling fingers traced the crack in the stove once more. “I gathered as much but thank you for confirming.” Her tone drifted into distant melancholy. “Nothing remains now of a life I once lived.” Then, she fixed a hidden yet somehow piercing gaze on him. “The last of the Jedi stands before me.”

He swallowed and looked down at his feet. “So, I’ve been told.”

A voice filled with quiet empathy replied, “What one is told and what one _is_ are two different things, Luke. You must choose your own path. Don’t let others choose it for you.”

His head jerked up to stare at her. Clenching and unclenching his hands, he confessed, “I’m not sure I know how.”

“Good. That shows wisdom. Those who do not question themselves, do not grow. Give yourself time. You will find your path.” She chuckled. “Sorry, I’ve derailed us into Master Yoda levels of vague advice. You were telling me about Lothal, I believe.”

The man flashed a rueful grin. “Right. Actually, that's who appeared. He said the answers I truly sought lay elsewhere. I should return to my beginning and find ‘The Apprentice’.”

“I see,” she murmured.

He watched her adjust the folds of her cloak in barely restrained impatience. After a full minute of silence, Luke couldn’t take it. “So, are you this apprentice?”

There was a deep exhale. “I suppose I am.” Hands emerged from billowing sleeves and pulled back her hood to reveal a regal Togruta. An akul-tooth headdress decorated blue striped lekku. Fierce face markings and razor-sharp blue eyes hinted at untamed wildness.

The remarkable juxtaposition of elegance, calm, and ferocity made goosebumps pop across Luke’s arms.

Her jaw set. “I was once the apprentice of what should have been the most powerful Jedi ever known. Many believed he was the Chosen One, prophesied to bring balance to the Force. Others knew him as a great hero, who could perform miraculous feats of skill and bravery. To me, though, he was simply a caring master and a loyal friend.” Intense eyes locked on his. “That man was Anakin Skywalker.”

Luke blinked rapidly, mouth opening and closing several times. “You—you’re—”

Stepping forward, she gripped his shoulders. “Ahsoka. My name is Ahsoka Tano.”

He gaped back at her as a multitude of emotions struggled to be processed. “I-I… it’s—wow. Nice to, uh, meet you.” Luke cringed, glad his burned face would hide the flush creeping over it.

Her expression softened. “It’s amazing how much you look like your father. Your mother is there as well, beneath the surface.”

His heart whipped in an already bucking chest. “You knew my m-mother too? Who was she? What else can you tell me? Please, I have so many questions no one can answer.”

She smiled warmly. “In that case, I believe you have indeed found the answers you truly seek, Luke Skywalker.”

Everything flooded with renewing light and the weary Jedi became an eager boy once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this as a small holiday gift for my readers. For those who don't partake, this is your 'merry unremarkable time of the year' gift. Seems only fair, since you have to put up with everyone screaming cheer at you the entire month. 
> 
> Hopefully, you got some warm fuzzies from your present. If not, oh well. Such is the mixed delight of ritualistic gifting.


	10. Obi-Wan & Luminara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Consumed with worry about Anakin, Obi-Wan wanders the temple in desperate contemplation. On one of these sleepless nights, he finds a kindred spirit.

Obi-Wan halted by the Great Tree in the Temple courtyard and glanced up. He’d apparently been roaming long enough for only two moons to remain in the night sky. The man massaged throbbing temples with a heavy sigh.

“That bad, is it?” a wry voice commented.

His head shot up. Obi-Wan grimaced. “So, it appears.”

Luminara strolled over to him. “And what is keeping Master Kenobi from his bed this evening? Or should I say… this morning?”

Lifting his gaze to the waning moons, he replied distantly, “The past, the present, and the future.”

There was a soft snort. “Well, no wonder you can’t sleep. Shall I come back and check on you in a decade?”

Obi-Wan couldn’t help a smile. Returning attention to her, he said, “And what, pray tell, are _you_ doing wandering around in the middle of the night, Master Unduli?”

An eyebrow arched. “Contemplating the past, the present, and the future. Isn't everyone?”

He chuckled and then sobered. “Alright. I am… worried about Anakin. What the Council has asked of him—to serve as a spy against Palpatine—is not sitting well with him.”

Luminara exhaled. “I’m not certain it is sitting well with me, either.”

Obi-Wan rubbed his forehead. “Nor me. It is simply another issue on top of a mounting pile, though. He has been troubled as of late. I believe I have ascertained one potential source of the turmoil. However, I’m not sure what to do about it.”

“I see,” she replied with an odd lilt. “And have you discussed your concerns with him?”

“Indirectly. I’ve attempted to draw him out on the subject, but our relationship has felt disconnected in recent months. I suppose it is a natural progression of an apprentice growing away from the master over time. I hold no claim on him anymore and cannot force my counsel. Still, I am concerned. I thought meditating on the problem might bring a solution.”

The woman was silent for several moments. “Stop meditating and take action.” Her tone sharpened. “Confront him directly. Confess your worries. Lock him in a room until he talks if you have to. But damn well do something.”

His mouth dropped open. “What?”

Sorrowful eyes locked on his. “Obi-Wan, my apprentice is lost. Do you know why? Because I let go when I should have held on. Don’t repeat my mistakes.”

He winced and laid a hand on her arm. “It’s not your fault. Barriss made her own choices.”

Luminara bit out an empty laugh. “No. She made the choices we forced upon her. We indoctrinated a vulnerable young mind into a life of violence and war. Then, we left her to handle its effects on her own. Tragedy was inevitable. Barriss chose the method, but we put the weapon in her hand. And I left her to wield it alone.”

Obi-Wan blinked. “Do you really believe that?”

“Yes,” she answered hoarsely. “And not just her. Another suffered through our actions. Ahsoka Tano is also lost. A bright light with so much promise had her innocent faith ripped away, because we had none. Is it surprising your apprentice should be questioning those who abandoned his?”

He stiffened. “Ahsoka made her own choices, as well. She could have returned and moved forward. She allowed emotions to decide her path.” The words felt hollow the instant they left his mouth.

Fire blazed into her normally placid eyes. “You insist the children we nurtured are responsible for their own choices, yet won’t take responsibility for ours? Even if that excuse were valid, what does Ahsoka’s outcome tell you about your own apprentice, Obi-Wan? What does he need from you at this moment? Empty platitudes and Jedi philosophy? Your sleepless contemplation that accomplishes nothing?”

The man prepared to retort, but the fight died on his lips. Slumping against the tree, he whispered, “What if it’s too late to repair the damage? What if I’ve been doing it the wrong way for too long?”

A slender hand lifted his chin and a sympathetic gaze met his. “That may well be. We can’t go back. It is the truth that keeps me wandering through an eternal night. But it’s not true for you. Not yet. You still have a chance. Don’t waste it. At least, try. Start with what he wants most from you.”

Obi-Wan held her eyes with almost desperate hope. “What is that?”

Arm dropping limply to her side, she looked out into the darkness. “Only you would know. You’re his master. You’ll realize what it is once you consider the question. I waited too late to ask it of myself. Barriss wanted me to listen to her, to be there. She needed me to… care.”

He contemplated the words and then straightened with a crisp nod. “I leave for Utapau in the morning to hunt down Grievous. Before I depart, though, I’ll make a start.”

Luminara’s posture relaxed. “Good. I’m headed to Kashyyyk myself. When we both return, perhaps we can work on the problem together.”

Obi-Wan’s chest lightened. Gripping her hand, he replied, “I would appreciate the benefit of your wisdom, Master Unduli.”

She smiled. “You are always welcome to what little I have, Master Kenobi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was strangely touching to me, despite the tragedy of it all.
> 
> Ok, pontification about Anakin & Obi-Wan you may not agree with forthcoming! Ranty and long to boot. My recommendation is to ignore the ridiculous amount of blurring words below and click away before I suck you into my weird headspace. For those that insist on knowing the underlying origination of this scene and don't mind rambling they may disagree with, read on.  
> ___________________________________________________________  
> ALERT. ALERT. THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING. ALERT. ALERT.  
> ___________________________________________________________
> 
> The idea here stemmed from Anakin and Obi-Wan's final conversation in RoTS (when Obi-Wan heads off to Utapau). It /should/ be a heartbreaking scene of their last moments prior to Anakin's turn. It falls flat for me. So, like a good fan, I figure out my issue & headcanon it away. What is my issue? Glad you asked!
> 
> Anakin apologizes for being a petulant, selfish, unappreciative, arrogant a-hole (um, paraphrasing). Obi-Wan tells Anakin he's proud of him, he'll soon be a master, he's a greater Jedi than him, etc. It's alot of validation from a guy who's basically always telling you to be a better Jedi. Even in CW, where they have a more friendly jibes dynamic, it's still very much *heavy sigh* 'Anakin...'. Obi-Wan seems to be laying it on a bit thick in the RoTS scene. I mean c'mon. More powerful than him? Sure. He's proud of him? In some ways, maybe. A better _Jedi_ than freakin' Obi-Wan Kenobi? No. Way. In. Hell. 
> 
> This immediately takes me out of the moment (along with the whole "goodbye, old friend" telegraphing 'hey everyone! cry! this is our last convo as friends ever!' but I digress.). I just don't believe a word coming out of Obi-Wan's mouth here. Being super powerful doesn't make you a great Jedi and certainly not a Master, which in theory is a title reserved for the 'best' Jedi. Yes, that requires skill but also wisdom & control. Even if you accept the Jedi are screwed up, who in their right mind would think Anakin is master material (much less an ideal Jedi) at this point? Is the bar that low? Have you seen his temper tantrums? Not even the disembodied spirit of Qui-Gon Jinn buys this one, I'm certain of it. 
> 
> So, I thought maybe he's finally realized Anakin needs love and validation to be ok--not Jedi preachiness. He just overdid it a bit because, let's be honest, Obi-Wan sucks at that kinda thing. Anakin laps it right up, of course. Because he does actually need that (in my opinion). [Oh, and yes, I'm totally overthinking a problem that is arguably(?) due to spotty characterization and unsupported dialogue, but let's ignore reality. I'm a fanfic writer. It's what we do.] 
> 
> Now, my question became... how did Obi-Wan come to this realization after years of the non-attachment that's really attachment approach and constantly trying to force Anakin into a perfect Jedi mold? Well, a conversation with Luminara about Barriss, of course. Duh. 
> 
> Right. I'm seriously considering deleting this entire note. It's like catharsis for my soul. Should I inflict it on the world at large? Eh, why not? An end note as long as the fic is always a brilliant idea. For annoying your readers. If you made it this far, please do tell. I'll bestow a special emoji award for such Jedi Master-level discipline and endurance.


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